Holy-Ba-Jesus!!

I don't think I can even come up with the right words to describe the last two days in the crazy life of Holly....but I'll try my best.

Yesterday I spent most of my day driving around Houston looking at houses for rent. We are in the process of debating if its in our best interest right now to stay where we are at and get a roommate or find renters for our place and move into something cheaper...keeping it short, this economy SUCKS! I've recently fallen in love with an area of Houston called The Heights. If you don't know where that is try to look it up online for pictures, you'll see why. Adorable rows and rows of cute antique farm houses with huge front porches and big oak trees....absolutely gorgeous area...or so I thought. My GPS lead me to a little dingy area with a few houses that were falling apart and yards with old lazy boys in the front...I quickly decided this wasn't going to be the house for us and started to drive back home. As I'm pulling onto the main street from the neighborhood out of nowhere a brown SUV comes hauling ass around a side street and swerves right around me cutting through the parking lot across the street and then swerving back onto the road going at least 90 if not more! Speed bumps did nothing to slow this vehicle down! Not even seconds later 5 cop cars are right behind him...one stopping for a split second to roll down his window to yell at me if I was okay and then speeding off as I could only simply nod before realizing what just happened! We could have been killed! It took about 5 minutes for me to start driving again, by this point I saw the helicopter above us so I knew they would eventually get caught. But I'm taking that little experience as an omen from God that we weren't meant to be living in that house. Eventually my "nerbs" settled down and my mood was much more cheery....that was until....

You won't even believe this...only me...this could only happen to me!

My mom has a beauty shop as most of you know. She's always staying up there late at night cleaning and asked me to come up there tonight and help. We were just sitting there talking and dusting, vacuuming the floors and washing coloring bowls when all of a sudden I hear heavy breathing through the AC vent. I asked my Mom to turn off the water so I could hear what that noise was.
Mom: "Oh that's just Irma!"
Me: "What? Irma is dead Mom, why would you say that?"
Mom: "She sometimes turns the water on or pushes the hair blowers down, its not a big deal...why are you scared of ghosts?"
Me: "Uh, maybe because your ghosts sound like they are having sex!"

She gets quiet and goes to the vent and listens...sure enough she hears the "sex" too. Heavy breathing and panting...

Mom: "That's strange...must be the AC unit making noises"

We go on our business and start mopping...about 15 minutes later we hear music coming from the A/C unit. Indian music...soft but definitely music. We stop what we are doing and listen. I kept encouraging her to call the police because SOMEONE was in the A/C closet, I could just tell. But the music suddenly stopped. Not wanting to think we were absolutely crazy we go outside to the side of her building and see a closet door. Why I even tried to open it I don't know...very stupid of me but I did so and to my relief it was locked.

::::whispering::::
Mom: "I never lock that door, its never been locked...its too small for anyone to be in there."
Me: "CALL THE POLICE!"
Mom: "I'm gonna call the landlord first"

Landlord is on-site so he's there within 3 minutes. We meet him outside and are quietly standing around debating what we are going to do. We finally agreed to call the police before we use the key to unlock the door. Before the police show up a MAN opens the door and comes out. Bright orange shorts, a back pack and a open white shirt with a gallon of milk in hand, a sleeping bag and a half gallon of orange juice in the other. He was ready to party. The landlord yells at him to stop where he is at and remain there until the police get there but he just says "I was only trying to get out of this heat! I'm leaving" Mom yelled out "YEAH RIGHT, we HEARD what you were really doing!" He quickly runs off as Bobby chases him through the property while on the phone with dispatch. The police are still looking for him. Inside the closet was a cardboard box he had used to lay down underneath the A/C unit up on stilts and peep at us through the A/C vent as he...well ya know! Eh!!! What a night!

Between foot fetish freaks and masturbating closet cases....I don't know what it is about me that draws in such crazies! But like I said...holy-ba-jesus!!!